- Murphy's First Law: Nothing is as easy as it looks.
- Murphy's Second Law: Everything takes longer than you
think.
- Murphy's Third Law: In any field of scientific endeavor,
anything that can go wrong will go wrong.
- Murphy's Fourth Law: If there is a possibility of several
things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go
wrong.
- Murphy's Fifth Law: If anything just cannot go wrong, it will
anyway.
- Murphy's Sixth Law: If you perceive that there are four
possible ways in which a procedure can go wrong and circumvent these, then a fifth way,
unprepared for, will promptly develop.
- Murphy's Seventh Law: Left to themselves, things tend to go
from bad to worse.
- Murphy's Eighth Law: If everything seems to be going well,
you have obviously overlooked something.
- Murphy's Ninth Law: Nature always sides with the hidden
flaw.
- Murphy's Eleventh Law: It is impossible to make anything
foolproof, because fools are so ingenious.
- Schmidt's Observation: All things being equal, a fat person
uses more soap than a thin person.
- Nick the Greek's Law of Life: All things considered, life is
9 to 5 against.
- Nowlan's Theory: He who hesitates is not only lost, but
several miles from the next freeway exit.
- Van Roy's Law: Honesty is the best policy - there's less
competition.
- Van Roy's Truism: Life is a whole series of circumstances
beyond your control.
- Agnes' Law: Almost everything in life is easier to get into
than out of.
- Clarke's Conclusion: Never let your sense of morals interfere
with doing the right thing.
- Goda's Truism: By the time you get to the point where you can
make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.
- Johnny Carson's Observation: The smallest interval of time
known to man is that which occurs in Manhattan between the traffic signal turning green
and the taxi driver behind you blowing his horn.
- Wilner's Observation: All conversations with a potato should
be conducted in private.
- The Phone Booth Rule: A lone dime always gets the number
nearly right.
- Zall's Laws:
(1) Any time you get a mouthful of hot soup, the next thing you do will be wrong.
(2) How long a minute is, depends on which side of the bathroom door you're on.
- Ettore's Observation: The other line moves faster.
- Griffin's Thought: When you starve with a tiger, the tiger
starves last.
- Manly's Maxim: Logic is a systematic method of coming to the
wrong conclusion with confidence.
- Cann's Axiom: When all else fails, read the
instructions.
- Macaluso's Doctrine: You've never been as sick as just before
you stop breathing.
- Knebel's Law: It is now proved beyond doubt that smoking is
one of the leading causes of statistics.
- The Law of Selective Gravity, or the Buttered-Side Down Law:
An object will fall so as to do the most damage.
- Stale's Law: No matter how careful one is in resealing the
inner liner in a cereal box, it will tear where it is glued to the box.
- William's Law: There is no mechanical problem so difficult
that it cannot be solved by brute strength and ignorance.
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