oldglory

Only In America

Only in America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance...

Only in America...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink...

Only in America...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions.

Only in America ...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters...

Only in America...do people order double cheese burgers, a large fry, and a diet coke...

Only in America ...do we use the word "politics" to describe the process so well: "Poli" in Latin meaning "many" and "tics" meaning "bloodsucking creatures"...

Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and leave useless junk in the garage...

Only in America...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place...

Only in America...do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille-lettering...

Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight...

Only in America...can a homeless combat veteran live in a cardboard box and a draft dodger live in the White House...


This could be fun. Send me additions for the list.
Put "In America" in the subject line. And remember folks,
let's keep it kinda light.

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updated 25 August 1999